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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in William Robert Roberts' LiveJournal:

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    Friday, January 18th, 2008
    9:44 pm
    We are going to win this year.

    And then we're going to take Iran behind the shed.

    And then, more tax cuts.

    Then life will be good.
    Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007
    10:33 pm
    Gee whilikers, it's been a while
    I guess it's time for me to make a post. I've been doing a lot of "self-medication" after Iraq, which is a-ok with the man upstairs (Deuteronomy 14:26). My wife (what is her name?) is pregnant again with our, uh, seventh? child. I don't remember.

    We moved in with my parents, because d***ed if we're going to mooch off the state for our welfare. We're not freeloading liberals!
    Saturday, May 7th, 2005
    6:38 pm
    I'm home! Hooray!
    Hi everyone! I'm back! What a great tour of duty! Some insurgents were shooting at us from behind a car, so we had a jet drop a bomb on their entire neighborhood and blew it all to H E Double Hockeysticks! That showed 'em.

    My friend Casey, who defferred a luractive baseball career to serve, was killed in a whacky friendly-fire mishap on April 26. The military sure knows how to take care of that, though. He was cremated that night and now nobody's supposed to know he existed. You never heard of him, okay?
    Wednesday, January 12th, 2005
    8:00 pm
    Boy, do people in the military have potty mouths. Call me old-fashioned or just conservative, but the f-word is never appropriate, even when your leg has just been removed from your body. Sheesh.

    We are getting so close to democracy in Iraq. The election is coming up in a couple of weeks, and then all of us will go home! Yay democracy!
    Monday, December 27th, 2004
    7:22 pm
    That was no tsunami. That was Al Quaeda, led by Dead Osama Bin Laden (who was killed by Pat Tillman in an act of martyrdom surpassed only by fiction, bless his heart.)

    The terrorists are controlling our oceans. This should wipe out the eastern seaboard, which would be a wonderful thing.
    Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
    4:05 pm
    Update from the trenches!
    Merry Christmas from Iraq!

    When I look at the people here, I am saddened for them. Not for the extreme poverty, the lack of clean water, the constant fear of violence, the missing appendages. No, I am saddened for them because of the lack of our Lord Jesus Christ in their hearts.

    If they would only turn to Jesus. If they would only embrace the manger, the tender and mild virgin, the lowing sheep, the loaves and fishes of prosperity that is so utterly impossible without Him.

    On the other hand, abortion is a crime here. God would be proud if He weren't so angry at their worship of false prophets.

    In my spare time, I have been handing out Bibles to people. They do not understand the words, so I pantomime stories. They seem to like the crucifixion a lot.
    Saturday, December 4th, 2004
    11:14 am
    I wish all women would keep their legs shut. Except for my wife.
    Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
    7:09 pm
    I was really expecting to have killed an Islamofascist insurgent by now. What a disappointment.
    Wednesday, November 24th, 2004
    4:42 pm
    Things that I am thankful for
    LORD, hear my thanks to you upon this November day we celebrate as thanks to the Pilgrims for discovering America, even though they did unfortunately create Massaschusetts.

    I am thankful to be in Hilla, Iraq, instead of at home with my family. LORD, you have no idea what children are like when the liberals have made it illegal to sever their vocal cords.

    I am thankful that I can serve You and President Bush and America in the way that you have both called me. In fact, I thought that recruiter was never going to stop calling me.

    I am thankful that I am around manly-men, and there are no homosexuals in my squadron. I don't know if I could kill terrorists and protect America if there were homosexuals in my squadron.

    And lastly, I thank you for making me a Republican, a Christian and an American instead of making me one of these godforsaken weepy people who are always...weeping. Thank You, LORD. You done good.

    Over and out for now,
    PFC Bill
    Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
    9:04 pm
    William Robert Roberts, reporting for duty
    People of Fallujah: prepare to be rocked. Bush is back, and I'm coming over!

    President Bush is LORD.
    Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
    9:58 pm
    "Bush got out of the National Guard, we have forged documents to prove it!"

    Oops.

    "Bush let 400 tons of explosives get away from Iraq!"

    Oops.

    The liberal media should be tried for sedition. Is it fair that they can make up wild allegations based on false information to sway the election and thereby put our troops in harm's way? Of course not. It's not enough to ask John Kerry to, at long last, develop a BS detector and get some darned critical media consumption skills. The press has too much freedom.
    Sunday, October 24th, 2004
    7:30 pm
    My friends, I am not an armchair war hawk. And I plan to do something about it. If George W. Bush is elected and serves another term, I will personally enlist and go over there. You have my word.

    Besides, Fallujah can't be as bad as living with five kids.
    Saturday, October 23rd, 2004
    6:30 pm
    I sure can't wait until next week, when George Bush gets re-elected! The lieberals will be defeated and will be all frowny. And then I will laugh at them!

    John Kerry should go back to France.
    Saturday, October 9th, 2004
    7:50 am
    You tell 'em, George!
    I'm glad we have a President who supports the Dred Scott decision. Where does Kerry stand on that? Why won't he say?
    Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
    3:50 pm
    Cheney! Cheney!
    Boy is Cheney going to hand Edwards his trial-lawyer butt tonight. We forgive Cheney for his daughter, but when you have a dad like that, how can you not form too strong an attachment?
    3:44 pm
    I know that liberals are supposed to be champions of the downtrodden and marginal, but can you try to not be boring? I read your comments to my kids to make them fall asleep.

    I was thinking... all those dead people in Iraq. How many years before they turn into light, sweet petrol? $2.19 at the pump is killing me. I have five children. Why isn't the government kissing my ass more?
    Saturday, September 4th, 2004
    9:38 pm
    Party of God convention
    I did indeed make it to the convention. The diversity of the speakers moved me -- Tuesday night, they featured a broad. There was also an Italian,a Scot, an immigrant and whatever Pataki is.

    Jenna and Barbara. "Spirited" indeed! I was wondering if the "spirit" was Jack Daniel or Captain Morgan.

    Of course, the real highlight was our Commander in Chief of the World, George W. Bush. Government should indeed help people improve their lives by not allowing them to be homosexuals and giving them plenty of jobs shooting at fundamentalist adolescents in Iraq.

    I tingle. Tingle, I tell you!
    Saturday, August 14th, 2004
    7:07 pm
    Service
    So let me see if I understand.

    John Kerry TURNED A BOAT AROUND. And for this, he gets the nomination and the adoration of millions of lazy welfare mothers and aged hippies.

    When I was in 'Nam, I broke McCain out of the bamboo cage he was being held in. Then we were hungry, so we killed a VK and ate his eyes. Don't be squicked, there's a lot you learn in the jungle. That fat b-stard LBJ never gave me a purple heart. Then again, with the pro-homosexual way that McCain has been voting, it might have been wise foreshadowing.

    Anyway, all this talk is making me hungry.

    A real American hero (and proud of it!)
    Bill
    Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
    6:50 pm
    A letter from a reader
    Dear Bill,

    I'm positively sick with guilt! My teenage daughter gave up her baby to a couple who we thought were good Christians (it was an open adoption). It turns out that they support baby-killing! God obviously planned for this couple to be infertile to punish them, and I feel as if we have let Him down by providing them with a child.

    My question is, can we get the baby back? Stephanie (my daughter) is only 14 and we are strapped for money beyond all comprehension, but I truly feel that Christ does not want my grandbaby to be raised by these people. I ache to know that she may grow up to slaughter my great-grandbaby! I cannot live with myself and have been throwing up blood since finding out that they are pro "choice".

    Signed,
    Tammy in Omaha

    Dear Tammy,

    The Bible is a great source of comfort for situations like this. You can read about children who were sold into bondage and suffered strange dreams as a result of malnutrition and brain damage from the beatings. Imagine that your grandbaby has entered a similar fate. Doesn't that put her closer to the Lord?

    But in more worldly terms, there was a show on The Baptist Channel that dealt with this. What you can do is stalk the parents until they give the child away to a more Christian family. Blare loud music outside their windows. Picket. You can get your way through intimidation and righteous harassment.

    Yours in Christ,
    Bill
    Saturday, July 24th, 2004
    4:31 pm
    I've been remiss in updating this journal. You'll be happy to know that Baby #5, Walter, dropped in March. It's a boy, so I rewarded Bea with a new SUV.

    A girlie in a community got me thinking... I could use a second wife. It's not adultery -- second wives are all over the Bible. It's our federal government that made the practice seem dirty and unholy. Obviously they know nothing of the Old Testament. I say we vote them out.
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